No matter the reason why we may feel powerless, broken, weak, unable, disheartened or a failure, there is a way out. That way out is called responsibility for what we can change and acceptance for what we have no control over.
Easy? Certainly not!
What about our past experiences, conditionings, hurts and traumas? What about our genetic profile? Our health condition, our capabilities and limitations?
Better questions might be “What do we want to define us?”, “How do we want to live our lives?”, “Who do we want to be?”
Do we want to let and allow life and others to define us and rule our lives? Or do we want to be the ones to make the choices and decisions?
Do we want to drift like leaves in the stream of life or do we want to be captains of our ship?
Do we want to blame our past and others for everything that goes wrong or do we want to assume responsibility for the choices we can make in our present?
Making mistakes is inevitable and the only way to learn and improve our game. Getting up after falling is optional and completely up to us. We have a choice: remain passive and leave things to luck or take action with intention to get where we want to get.
Focus is vital but flexibility is key
Our conditioning are the stories we tell ourselves about who we think we are, what the world is like and what we are or aren’t capable of. It may be the gauge of our position in life and society. Influence our identity, sense of self, our self esteem and our self confidence.
The reality is that our reality changes every single second of the day, or at least it has the potential to do so if we so choose. The problem is :
Choices are not enough, we need to design a strategy and take action to get results.
That holds true for everything, from making our bed in the morning to fixing the leak in the sink. Getting out there and looking for work or building our business. Changing habits or ways of life that don’t serve us or don’t make us happy.
We are not hostage of our genetics or conditioning. This is not what defines us, what’s important is what we do with the hand we were dealt with. Who we choose to be in life, how we want to look at our reality, how we want to feel and what we want to do with our time here.
Some of us have been dealt terrible cards, conditions and situations that are unbearable any way one looks at it. We may have experienced unimaginable pain, horror and adversity. We may need all the help and support we can get. Others may have been lucky enough to be born and experience the best of life yet still feel unable to navigate life intentionally and be happy.
Our circumstances do not define us. What matters is not what happened or is happening to us but what we make of it, how we perceive it, what we decide to do with our situation.
This is not about positive thinking by any means, this is all about taking positive action. Looking at the world through rose glasses is not the solution, hiding reality under the carpet neither.
This is all about a relentless will to do anything and everything it takes to shape our reality the way we intend to.To not stop in front of obstacles but be flexible and resilient enough to bypass, get over or through them. To carve paths where there are none. To build bridges over gaps, to create the tools and learn the skills we need to get where we want to get. To a point of feeling good about ourselves and content with our lives.
It is all about taking control of our precious minds, taming our fears and gremlins. Gently but firmly, with love and compassion as well as taking decisive action.
Sometimes there is no action to be taken but a shift of state of mind. There are moments were we need to accept our reality and make peace with it. Do the best we can do and let go. Whether it is about our beloved self destruction or our own mortality, there come times where taking no action is the action to take. That is a choice too, everything is. Life is binary, a yes or a no. Despite the zillion of shades of gray in between black and white at the end of the day the scales will tip one way or the other.
We can’t have everything, but we can have the best we can do for ourselves and others. If most of it is good, do not focus on the little that is bad. If most of it is bad though we need to take action to turn it around, to tip the scales to the positive.
There is no perfection, everything is a process, a work in progress. Nothing is definite, we have the freedom to change our minds, direction and purpose. The important thing is to be and feel responsible for our reality and the shape we give it. To be free we need to assume responsibility for our choices and actions. We have free will, we need to realize that and do our best to be and do the best we can do for what we want to achieve.
The alternative is the life of the drifter and victim. Going where the current takes us or where the wind blows. Landing where life’s not so random circumstances take us because we didn’t make a different choice. Blaming the world around us, our early experiences, our parents, our bosses or coworkers, our in laws, friends and family.
Am not saying that there aren’t evil or difficult people out there because that wouldn’t be true. Nor am I saying that traumatic experiences are easy to overcome. I am asking though whether it is worth questioning if we are willing or not to allow them to define us and our lives, our well being and happiness. Whether we want to play the role of the victim or take responsibility for our reality in this precious life. Whether we want to feel and be hostage and slave or free and captains of our lives.